Trade-Offs As An Antidote to Decision Paralysis
Simplifying hard decisions and minimizing regrets
As we grow up and deal with being an adult, we are constantly having to take decisions that can potentially change the course of our life. That is a big responsibility for someone who is new to adulthood. Taking decisions on such matters can be overwhelming, and cognitively taxing. As a 20-something myself, this has been true for me as well as for all of my 20-something friends.
But there is a way to simplify decision-making. Not just simplify but make better decisions - decisions that get you where you want to go while also minimizing the “Did I do the right thing” fear. The approach to decision making I outline below has worked well for me. Hope it helps you too!
I.
Consider this situation that my friend, let’s call him Sharan, found himself in: Should Sharan (he has done an MBBS) pursue being a surgeon or general practitioner (GP)? A decision that has been plaguing him for a while now because:
He likes that surgeons are well respected in the medical field (as it requires mastery). On the other hand, being a GP is associated with mediocrity.
At some point in the future, he wants to start working on his own terms. Working as a GP sets him up for such a future where he can open his own medical practice, and become his own boss. On the flip side, choosing the surgeon’s path meant that he would need to always work on his employer’s terms.
A GP’s job doesn’t pay well while a surgeon’s job does pay well. He could really use a high-paying job to have the kind of lifestyle that he has always dreamt of having.
A GP’s job provides a good work-life balance that the surgeon’s job doesn’t provide. He would like to have that time because he wants to travel the world and pursue other hobbies.
So many conflicting wants. Which one should he choose? It has been eating his brain for several days. At one point, he wished that he didn’t have these options. “Why do I have options? I wish there was no choice, to begin with. At least then, I wouldn’t be in this awful position of having to choose.” he ranted.
As a concerned friend, I googled these symptoms and it gave me a terrifying diagnosis: decision paralysis.
II.
I often see a lot of people (including myself) stuck in decision paralysis. In fact, many undergo decision paralysis for similar kinds of questions: more money or better work-life balance? Hustle to scale heights in their career and miss out on life or enjoy life but settle for mediocrity in their career?
The antidote to decision paralysis, I have discovered, is to understand and accept that life is all about trade-offs.
The problem lies in seeing a decision as “What are the things that I want?” where you typically make a list of the things that you want. In Sharan’s case, these are his wants:
Respect in the medical circle as well as his social circle
Good pay
Work-life balance
Self-sovereignty
All of them seem equally important thereby putting him in a state of deadlock.
Instead of seeing it as “What are the things that I want?”, see it as “Which trade-offs can I live with?” Reframing the problem in terms of trade-offs can simplify things. Here is what Sharan’s options look like after reframing:
I want self-sovereignty and a good work-life balance; if sacrificing my dream lifestyle and respect in my social circle is the price I have to pay, I am okay with it.
I want good pay so that I can afford my dream lifestyle and be respected by my social circle; if sacrificing self-sovereignty and work-life balance is the price I have to pay, I am okay with it.
The list of wants is theoretical and intangible. The list of trade-offs is practical and tangible. Picking between future scenarios is easier than picking between your wants.
III.
Sometimes and for some people, reframing the problem into trade-offs relieves them from one decision paralysis but puts them in another one.
Here are some heuristics that help when you are struggling to decide between trade-offs:
Optionality - We are all fickle-minded. Our goals and ambitions change. So it is prudent to choose the path that increases your options in the future. In Sharan’s case, he can pursue being a surgeon even after 5 years of being a GP. But if he gets into surgery, it will be really hard to get back onto the GP track. So the GP path gives him better optionality.
Reversibility - Choose the path that doesn’t lock you in. Similar to optionality but not the same.
Optimization - Ask yourself: What am I optimizing for? Pick the tradeoff that aligns with what you are optimizing for. Sharan is in his 20s and is thus optimizing for fun (instead of money). So the GP option makes more sense.
Core Values - Which option aligns more with my core values? One of Sharan’s core values is to explore. So, again, the GP option makes more sense. I highly encourage you to create a list of core values for yourself. Here is the guide I followed to create mine (see picture below). I turn to them for all things big and small. It really has become my Bible; or, as I call it, my “Anchor”. Treat it as a living document and keep revising it.
Even after using these heuristics, some people might say “According to all this analysis, I should pick option A but…I don’t know…” To which my advice would be: Be ruthless. Don’t allow your monkey mind to keep you in a state of indecisiveness. Bite the bullet and pick a trade-off.
IV.
Decisions are hard because of how cognitively demanding they are even after you've made the decision. Big decisions have a lingering effect. “Did I do the right thing? What if I picked the wrong path? Maybe life would’ve been better if I chose the other option.”
This is why the trade-off options contain the phrase “is the price I have to pay, I am okay with it”. That phrase forces you to pick between options that you would be okay with should you choose any particular option.
Reframing your options into trade-offs, i.e. reframing them into “I need to let go of abc to get xyz” saves you from future regrets. You won’t feel “Damn, I should have taken the surgeon job. I could have earned much more and had a great lifestyle.” Nope. You chose this, remember? You were okay with not having a great lifestyle and that is why you have been able to travel to 25 countries, pick up photography as a hobby, and are in good physical shape. If you were in surgery, you couldn’t have done these. The dream lifestyle is the price you paid for what you have now. There is nothing to regret here.
Trade-offs help minimize the lingering effect of decisions and gets you moving.
V.
If none of these work for you, maybe you should try Dwight’s advice.
Until the next episode!