Post #50: Reflecting on 2 Years of bitsoveratoms
“Writing is a space where I can be free in every sense, where I can say whatever, go wherever I want to.” - Karl Ove Knausgård
When I started bitsoveratoms, I was unsure about its purpose. Where do I want it to go? Should I actively advertise my blog on social media and try to gain more subscribers? Should I have a plan to monetize and make this a side hustle? Or should I do it simply to explore ideas that interest me? Maybe attract people with similar interests and sensibilities along the way?
2 years later, I have some clarity. I neither intend to grow my blog’s popularity nor do I want to make this a side hustle. bitsoveratoms is simply a space where I can indulge in the pleasurable exercise of writing, think in public, and meet interesting people.
Karl Ove Knausgård once said, “I think so much of writing is done out of a feeling of not belonging”. I shifted countries a year ago - I went from a small middle-class neighborhood in Chennai to a global, cosmopolitan urban jungle in the west that is London. The shift has not been easy. Turns out that making friends as an adult in a new country is hard, and finding people who are up for open-minded exploration of topics is harder. I did not feel like I belonged. I tried to fix it, of course. By trying to fit in, by doing things that I didn’t really enjoy. Predictably, that did not work out so well. So, after a year-long hiatus, I turned to my blog. Writing, I have come to realize, is an introvert’s best friend.
Along the way, I have come to understand that by writing, you can taste a unique flavor of freedom. Because you see, usually you are constrained by people’s perceptions of you. People typecast you, especially your close ones. I am known for being soft-spoken and agreeable, and I found it difficult to break out of that characterization in real-life conversations. But when I sit in front of the computer and open the substack editor to write, I can take on any persona I want. I no longer have to be that agreeable person; I can be crass, disagreeable, and contrarian. Better yet, I can wear any kind of mask that I feel like wearing. I can be someone who is rude or someone who says something poetic, or someone who is over-dramatic. And sometimes, it’s not about wearing a mask, it is about revealing a side of yourself that you would otherwise never show in person.
I also used to worry about the theme of my newsletter. Every person with a popular newsletter gave the same advice: find a niche. What was my niche? I dabbled with a couple of things - personal finance, self-help, productivity, etc. But I couldn’t stick to one. I found myself writing about a variety of topics, anything that captured my interest.
Now, I worry no more for I have found my niche: my opinions. The market for my opinions is not big. But who cares?
Ramblings aside, here are some of the things that have changed since the early days of bitsoveratoms:
Writing short-form articles. This is a departure from my usual long-form style for which I have great affinity. I used to be of the opinion that short-form doesn’t quite capture the nuances as well as long-form does. While that still remains true, some topics are better suited for the short-term medium. Short-form articles, despite being concise - no, because of being concise, can pack a punch. Small yet mighty. I will be trying out more of these in the future.
Started writing about films @ Cinephilia. This is something I have been wanting to do for a long time and I am glad I got started. More than the product (the film review), the process of producing it - thinking about the film, taking notes, and consolidating it into an article - deepens my experience of the film. And who wouldn’t like that?
I stopped getting my drafts reviewed. I was having too high a standard for publishing a blog and it was affecting how frequently and regularly I was publishing. I would rather publish something on a regular basis than not publish anything at all for weeks.
My subscriber count and my article count aren’t boast-worthy. But whatever I have written until now, I am super happy with. My articles opened doors to new hobbies, interests, and points of view for me. For example, writing the article on why modern architecture doesn’t suck, motivated me to get into it more seriously.
I started reading books on architecture, watched construction and engineering videos on YouTube, and went on architecture tours. The result? The realization that for 25 years of my life, I have been ignoring the splendor that has been right in front of my eyes. Now, every time I step out, I can’t help but stop in front of a building to notice the artistic details, be moved by its beauty, and be fascinated by the engineering that made it possible.
Ultimately, every single article I wrote helped increase my delta. And is there a better feeling than increasing your delta(∆)1? After all, it is at the top of Raghul’s Hierarchy of Writing pyramid. (Maslow who?)
To everyone who has supported me through my on-and-off writing journey, a big thank you.
I’ll leave you with this exchange between Nobel-prize-winning physicist Richard Feynman and the historian Charles Weiner that I frequently keep going back to:
Weiner came across a batch of Feynman’s notes, and commented that they represented “a record of Feynman’s day-to-day work.”
Feynman reacted with unexpected sharpness, “I actually did the work on the paper.”
Weiner responded, “Well, the work was done in your head, but the record of it is still here.”
Feynman pushed back, “No, it’s not a record, not really. It’s working. You have to work on paper and this is the paper. Okay?”
Until the next episode!
A Greek mathematical symbol that denotes change or difference