This newsletter is a documentation of my journey as I try to figure out life. Let us journey together, subscribe below. TW: Rape, sexual assault One of my good friends frequently uses the word “rape” in a casual manner; he would throw around sentences like “I got raped today in badminton bro” or “he got raped in that game of chess”. You know, the usual utterances of any casual “rape”-user. It made me deeply uncomfortable every time I heard it and I wanted to ask him to stop using it. I was considering confronting him about it but before that, played out the confrontation in my head. The simulation ended at an impasse: if the usage of “murder” or “kill” is not a problem, what is wrong with the usage of “rape”? Both are egregious violent crimes. To that, I did not have a defense ready. Furthermore, I myself was not convinced why one was acceptable while the other wasn’t. I had to solve this double-standard conundrum for myself before I picked up an argument with my good friend.
I got curious and decided to come back and read this one.
…I’m glad you dug deeper.
I’d argue that murder/kill are gendered words though, considering the massive dis balance in who suffered random violence, who winds up self deleting, winds up “nobly sacrificing” for women/children in wars/emergency, or even being victimized in non mutual domestic violence. The issue is that they are gendered against men as much as rape is.
Domestic violence is especially egregious in that the definition game with DV isn’t just as bad as it was with rape, but much worse and more insideous, getting stronger and less understanding.
For instance, if a man stands over a seated women and yells loudly at her inches from her face and someone sees it, he’s going to jail to atleast cool down.
If a woman does it; people video record and joke about it, see Bryan Laundrie pushed his abuser back so her has space to stand, calls the police on HIM for making space. The woman is then placed in the back of the cop car before being released for Brian to deal with more.
You know those stories of abused women finally taking revenge against their husband that get a year and a movie deal… do you honestly think Brian would have been given so light a sentence or a pre-execution movie? Think about the way society views rape.
Hell, think about the way society views most dangerous things. Men have to register for the draft to get financial aid of any kind (student loans, disability, social security). Draft registration is needed for federal jobs. In a lot of states draft registration is required for voting.
Draft Required unless you are from one group of people that have a rather matriarchal look to them.
I got curious and decided to come back and read this one.
…I’m glad you dug deeper.
I’d argue that murder/kill are gendered words though, considering the massive dis balance in who suffered random violence, who winds up self deleting, winds up “nobly sacrificing” for women/children in wars/emergency, or even being victimized in non mutual domestic violence. The issue is that they are gendered against men as much as rape is.
Domestic violence is especially egregious in that the definition game with DV isn’t just as bad as it was with rape, but much worse and more insideous, getting stronger and less understanding.
For instance, if a man stands over a seated women and yells loudly at her inches from her face and someone sees it, he’s going to jail to atleast cool down.
If a woman does it; people video record and joke about it, see Bryan Laundrie pushed his abuser back so her has space to stand, calls the police on HIM for making space. The woman is then placed in the back of the cop car before being released for Brian to deal with more.
You know those stories of abused women finally taking revenge against their husband that get a year and a movie deal… do you honestly think Brian would have been given so light a sentence or a pre-execution movie? Think about the way society views rape.
Hell, think about the way society views most dangerous things. Men have to register for the draft to get financial aid of any kind (student loans, disability, social security). Draft registration is needed for federal jobs. In a lot of states draft registration is required for voting.
Draft Required unless you are from one group of people that have a rather matriarchal look to them.